EVMS Funnies: Rebaseline Randy Strikes Again!!! 🚨
🔍 Monday morning… Baseline Bob logs in, expecting a normal day. But something feels… off.
📊 THE ENTIRE BASELINE HAS CHANGED. NO BCR. 😱
👨💻 Baseline Bob (Shocked, sweating):
"Wait… where did all the variances go? Why do these numbers look different?!"
👨💼 Rebaseline Randy (Smugly, arms crossed):
"Oh, I just rebaselined everything over the weekend. It cleaned up the variances! Looks way better now, right?"
🤦♂️ Baseline Bob (Absolutely losing it):
"YOU JUST ERASED OUR ENTIRE PERFORMANCE HISTORY! The auditors are going to have a FIELD DAY!"
☕ Variance Vince (Sipping coffee, unfazed):
"Relax, just tell them it was a ‘strategic realignment'.’"
🔥 The office erupts into flames as a government auditor walks in.
📢 EVMS Compliance in Action! 🔥
Lessons Learned (Or Ignored by Rebaseline Randy)
✅ You CAN’T just rebaseline to “fix” performance issues.
✅ EVMS isn’t about making CPI and SPI look good—it’s about integrity.
✅ BCRs exist for a reason—traceability matters.
✅ Auditors LOVE to dig into sudden performance “improvements.”
✅ Auditors don’t buy “strategic realignment” as an excuse.
✅ You don’t just “reset” reality.
🚀 At Elixir Value Management Systems, Inc., we make sure your rebaselines don’t become compliance nightmares. From variance tracking to change control documentation, we help teams stay audit-ready and aligned with the EVMS EIA-748 guidelines.
👉 Need an EVMS expert? Let’s talk!
📧 karlo.menoscal@elixirvms.com
📞 949-351-8896
🌐 www.elixirvms.com
We guide organizations through a transformative journey—removing obstacles, driving efficiency, delivering success, and unlocking The Alchemy of EVMS Excellence!
🔥 Because EVMS should prevent fires, not start them! 🔥
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